Guilt & Shame
Guilt is a feeling that arises out of behavior that represents wrongdoing of some kind and can be a constructive emotion. When one feels guilt, he or she recognizes that a personal action was wrong and may have caused someone else harm. Deep, unhealthy shame is the internal feeling that I am flawed or not good enough. For some people it can result in low self-esteem and depression. People living with underlying shame may believe these feelings are normal, and may think other people feel the same way. While these feelings may be quite common, they are not the norm, and can impede fulfilling our happiness. There are many messages we absorb throughout our lives that can become internal, automatic messages. Those experiencing shame often unconsciously repeat these messages in their minds over and over again. These feelings affect the way we see ourselves and how we believe others see us.
Consider the following messages that are often associated with people who feel shame:
- “I’m a failure.”
- “Nobody could possibly love me.”
- “I’m not a good mother/father.”
- “I can’t relate to other people.”
The consequence of feeling this kind of shame is devastating and always painful. Some unhealthy ways people cope with these feelings are:
- Self Abuse
- Chronic Victimization
- Abuse of Others
- Depression
- Rage
- Control
- Perfectionism
- Addictions and other Compulsions
- Compulsive, enmeshed, or apathetic relationships
- Attempts at Suicide
If any of these symptoms concern you about yourself or a loved one, please contact Renew Counseling Center and allow our staff to support your healing. (623)633-4032.
